Tuesday, March 13

Joys? of Toddlerhood

Why don’t ‘experienced’ parents ever tell the 'newbies' about the “joys(heavy on the sarcasm here..) of toddlerhood?

I read the What To Expect book, I excitedly discussed my growing bump with friends, we chatted about our cute & charming newborns,we gushed about our lovable, adorable & pudgy lil infants…but that’s where the convos ended. Maybe it’s because I’m back at work and barely have time to score a hot date with the Hubby or do any baking (my favorite relaxing hobby), let alone have adult time with other parents to discuss/compare/commiserate our lil monsters...

Now that I'm moving out of the newbie phase I have compiled some info that I've learned and would like to share with all the preggers and parenting newbies out there. 

(and keep in mind, I have not even successfully made it to E's 2nd bday yet.....)

1. They will have 200+ colds within the 1st year at Daycare
I was pretty much beside myself the 1st few months back at work.. I knew “E” would get sick, pick up gross germs and random bugs from his daycare buddies..BUT SERIOUSLY – sick every 2 weeks! Gah! A-n-n-o-y-i-n-g! I’m pretty sure my boss/work thought I was making up the illnesses just to stay home from work 
 2. They will manage to give themselves pink eye (numerous times) by rubbing their own snot in their eye (during the night.)

A face only a mother could love

3. They will hit and bite
I was clearly delusional in thinking that since we don’t discipline by spanking or biting (obviously!) – my kid wouldn’t do these awful things either - WRONG!
4.  They will not share
Share!? Ok..when you were pregnant did you ever think stop to think about how you were going to teach your kid to share?? I know, right? I totally didn't! Any tips would be helpful
 5. They will learn "NO", "DON'T" and "MINE" way before "YES" and "PLEASE"
I’m pretty sure NO was “E’s” 3rd or 4th word, he's now perfecting MINE and this month’s new word is DON’T.. We are on a roll!
6. They will not care if they sit in their own poop, even if you offer to change it
"E" is 23mths and has developed a lovely new habit we call “closet pooper”
7. They will put up a fight every time they get their diaper changed
Apparently I’m the lucky winner of this battle. He does not do this for anyone else. Lucky me!
8.  They will learn to give you the stink eye and roll their eyes before they are 2!
Mid Eye Roll
Classic Stink Eye
9. Will say mom, mum, MOMMA, moooooom more than you think is possible - in a 5 minute span
Enough said
 10. Will develop a complete hatred for food that he absolutely loved yesterday

* Get cold meds & Kleenex..Another cold has hit our house...
* Read up on tips on how to get your kid to eat more than just PB&J
* Pick up some wine - it's going to be a long year..

Love my lil man but I strongly believe toddlers should come with warnings!

What would you share with parent newbies about toddlers?


    Brittany Stewart said...

    They should definitely include this information in the expecting books!
    Just wait til the Why's and What's start.
    I don't know how many more 'Mommy!!!s' I can handle ;)

    ToDoListMom aka Ashley said...

    Maybe I'll write a new version of a "mommy book" :) lol

    FunnyPregnantLady said...

    Great post and oh so true!!!

    Kimberly said...

    This is too funny.
    I swore that my child was a diaper ninja every time we put him on the change table :)
    Thanks for linking up!!!!